I dreaded public speaking since I was a child, and I have more than one reason.
Besides getting butterflies in my stomach beforehand, whether for a class project or an area speech tournament in high school, I still carry trauma from the day my father insisted on being in the room to hear my oration during the latter.
I was already nervous, and his presence compounded the situation. But he was Daddy, and he had driven me to the speech tournament for high schools. And besides being my father, he called the shots.
Really, what could I say?
And did I mention that my father had made a career in the U.S. Army, and was on his second stint as a librarian at the campus library?
Of course, as in life, what you dread most, you manifest into reality.
I guess we could consider it as a self-fulfilling prophecy: I went blank in the middle of my delivery.
And I could not remember the next word, or the next. Was unable to remember any words—except Daddy sitting in the audience along with the judge and my competitors.
Confronted with two evils, I chose the lesser: I could ad-lib the rest of my speech by pretending that I was in the extemporaneous speaking round instead of the oratory one and attempt to banish my increasing stage fright.
Or—I could face the consequence that I did not want to even contemplate.
Yes, my father was in the military, and there was one thing I knew: If I remained silent a second longer, praying my words would magically reappear, Daddy was likely to blunt out, and loudly as was his manner, “Ruth, you can do this!!!”
And I would have been forced to jump out the nearest window. In total embarrassment.
I would never have the guts to compete in another speech tournament.
Enduring Stomach Butterflies
I have always endured stomach butterflies, even with class projects, because I loved writing oratories, and sharing my thoughts and what I believed.
And since I had powerful messages to share, that outweighed my phobia of public speaking, and I always managed to get through it—breathing relief when I was done.
That is how most things you want to do in life are: Fearful.
But once you complete the task, you are ready to breathe relief that it is behind you until the next time.
Likewise, you are also proud and glad that you went through with it.
Despite.
Despite your fear, despite the phobia.
Deep within you also know that had you not completed or competed, your would have forever regretted it.
And regret is such a horrible and heavy feeling to be saddled with.
It makes you lose your confidence.
Despite Daddy's Twinkling Eyeglasses
That day, with Daddy in the room, and his eyeglasses twinkling from the bright lights, I went for it.
And I started ad-libbing.
I’ll be honest. I did not have the faintest idea what I was saying. All I know was that I kept talking, oblivious to the words flowing from my mouth.
I refused to stop, not allowing another second of silence to be overshadowed—and overwhelmed—by Daddy’s booming voice.
Refused to go there. I was not even going to contemplate going there.
So I continued talking, and before long, my original words—the ones I had written down, and practiced for weeks—came back to me.
Scoring Victory
I did not score high enough to go to the next round. But I felt victorious.
I scored in my heart.
Not sure what what happened next.
But continuing my speech made me proud.
That was my victory that day.
Benefits of My Phobia
Jokes aside, I have forced myself to embrace public speaking today. Mainly, it was because I had no other choice.
I realized early on that if I wanted to get my writing and research out to the public, which has always been my goal, then I would have to endure my phobia, my fear of public speaking.
I also realized that public speaking leverages your authenticity—and credibility. You also have the option of becoming a professional public speaker.
Still amazed at how professional coach, speaker and motivational author Steve Chandler first started out. He writes about it in his book, . He and I could have been born at the hip.
And yet he went on to become a successful speaker, more than a topnotch one, and an inspirational mentor and coach in the process.
Of course, there is always Toastmasters in your local vicinity if you want to learn how to speak in front of others, whether as an amateur, to deliver better business and work presentations, or for a living.
Public speaking, and who knew, can be a vital ingredient to your success in your business, career and personal life. Yes, it comes in handy in all three fields, and as I've noted, it can leverage your success.
While I still get butterflies in my stomach, decades after Daddy crashed my speech tournament round, my audience insists the speeches that I have given were such a great delivery. I was amazed at one individual wrote on social media. Reread her words, and couldn’t help but think: Is she talking about me?
I do believe being an historian panelist for the recent Juneteenth Commemoration Program helped me to sell 20 copies of my thesis formatted as a book on Amazon to a diverse audience. I was amazed. And proud. Most individuals also wanted them to be autographed.
How do you feel about public speaking?
Do you thrive when you give a speech, or manifest your introvert inner self, too?
As I conquer each speech, the more I gain confidence and the more my butterflies fly the coop.
Public Speaking Resources
Here are resources that can help you become a public speaker or a better public speaker so that you can uplevel your professionalism and status: First, there's Connie Ragen Green’s How to Become a Public Speaker and Ellen Finkelstein’s 12 Steps to Become a Charismatic Speaker. The two entrepreneurs have coauthored Speakers! The Quick Public Speaking to Business Method: Turning Your Talk into an Ongoing Revenue Stream.
Ellen also has Reach More People by Speaking on Podcasts, Power of Storytelling, and 101 Tips Every PowerPoint User Should Know, which all can complement public speaking. And Connie's Become a Local Celebrity is also a wise choice.
You may also want to invest in the New York Times bestseller, TED Talks.
I now even look forward to speaking engagements because my message still outweighs my nervousness.
I’ve accepted that the butterflies will always be there. But—the more I speak, the more I set them free!
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I’m Ruth Anita Foote, an award-winning journalist, historian, author, and online entrepreneur—passionate about helping you enhance your business, career, and lifestyle. Whether you need writing, editing, research, or online business development, I’m here to support your growth. My goal is to empower you to elevate your success and make a lasting impact in your field. You can connect to all my social media platforms through Linktr.ee.
