Too Far From the Light: Dylan Doesn’t Live Here Anymore

Dylan died as he lived: His lover clinging to his arm.

That is how I heard the police found him: The syringe hanging out.

He was most likely another victim of Fentanyl.

The phantom drug had struck down so many young people in our community, and across the country, even though I wasn’t quite sure of Dylan’s age. His vice consumption had obscured his years beyond measure, and I wasn’t sure if he was younger or older than he looked, and I wasn’t sure what age to gauge either premise upon.

A local documentary film that touched on the drug epidemic still haunted me somewhat. In the end, there was an in memoriam for the addict who shared her story but never lived to see it on screen. She had succumbed to Fentanyl.

Dylan had human lovers as well. The first I met was the long-haired brunette, a professional whom I believed was doing as many women do at some point in our lives: Dating the alluring bad boy, and in Dylan’s case, the bad, bad boy. The other one I later met was a pixie red-haired who seemed like a flower child out of character and place in this day and age. She reminded me of Tess on Star Trek: Voyager but lacked her innocence.

Both disappeared before long, and I assumed his main lover and other vices had chased them away.

Yet there he always appeared, as so many times before — the attractive yet wild-looking guy with unkempt dark hair to his shoulders, and somewhat menacing tattooed designs painted across his chest and back, and up and down both arms. He usually swayed as he walked, shirtless with his jeans barely hugging his hips, and mostly barefooted.

Sometimes, he had an opened bottled beer or cigarette in his right hand, and the nearly empty six-pack and tossed cigarette butts remained behind in the corner where he had been sitting.

He often looked like he had been raised by wolves, and had accidently found his way into civilization. His animal guardians, on the other hand. may had decided to send him back to his own kind. Perhaps, they had grown weary of Dylan and his shenanigans. You felt that his past was full of them, and much sorrow, too.

I did not realize how much Dylan was living on borrowed time, but it was so obvious that he was in hindsight.

News of his death still came as a shock and a great tragedy.

I never knew his background, but always felt that nothing about it would have surprised me. And whatever his past, I accepted this was who he was at this given moment.

He always felt compelled to greet me, and was always polite, and didn’t seem aware of the curse words he sprinkled throughout our brief conversations. He meant no offense. That was just Dylan being Dylan. Sharing his unadulterated self with friend and foe alike.

The last time I saw him, he seemed surprised to find out that I was a writer, and shared that he had always wanted to write also. He said he loved to play the guitar, and perhaps as I recall, he mentioned how he would love to write songs, or maybe it was poetry. I felt compelled to encourage him to get a small notebook, for the time being, and just write down his thoughts whenever he felt like it. The book could always come later, I told him.

I don’t think he ever did. He probably knew his time was nigh, his bell was set to toll. And he may have even opted to hasten his departure.

Looking back I recalled the stories I had heard about him toward the unbeknownst end, and how we should have recognized his increasing erratic behavior. It seemed as a natural flow of his personality though, at the time, but we should have realized that it had become more frequent.

We later realized that we really didn’t know Dylan. That much. Not at all.

Instead we understood — and accepted — the harsh truth: Dylan doesn’t live here anymore.

We may have — or suspect — family members or friends who are battling addictions like Dylan.  We, ourselves, may be caught up in the vicious cycle. But we may not be sure. Here are 15 warning signs of addiction, courtesy of ChatGPT:

WARNING SIGNS OF ADDICTION

1. 1. Isolation from Friends and Family  – Withdrawal from loved ones, avoiding connection and support.
   2. Drastic Mood Swings – Emotional highs and lows that feel unpredictable or extreme.
   3. Loss of Interest in Hobbies or Passions – Once-loved activities no longer matter; pleasure fades.
   4. Neglecting Responsibilities – Missing work, school, or important deadlines repeatedly.
   5. Physical Appearance Changes – Weight loss/gain, bloodshot eyes, poor hygiene, or looking run-down.
   6. Lying or Hiding Behavior – Frequent dishonesty about whereabouts, money, or habits.
   7. Risky or Dangerous Behavior – Driving under the influence, unsafe sex, or stealing.
   8. Financial Troubles – Borrowing money constantly, unexplained expenses, or selling belongings.
   9. Increased Tolerance – Needing more of a substance to feel the same effect.
   10. Denial or Defensiveness – Getting angry or evasive when the topic of use comes up.
   11. Secretive Routines or Disappearing Acts – Unexplained absences or vague excuses become regular.
   12. Paranoia or Anxiety – Growing fearfulness or emotional instability, even in calm situations.
   13. Physical Withdrawal Symptoms – Shaking, sweating, nausea, or insomnia when not using.
   14. Neglecting Health or Medical Advice – Ignoring symptoms, skipping doctor visits, or avoiding recovery talk.
   15. Inability to Stop – Trying to quit but keep returning to the substance.

This list is not inclusive of all warning signs, but it notes some of the top signs for us to pay heed. What should we do if we know someone suffering from addiction? Here are 15 recommendations, also from ChatGPT, for someone with addiction. However, first seek medical advice, and share your concerns with a professional in the field. These are for educational purposes only:

RECOMMENDATIONS FOR INDIVIDUALS WITH ADDICTIONS

1. Acknowledge the Problem Without Shame – Healing begins when you admit there’s a struggle—without judging yourself.
2. Talk to Someone You Trust – Confide in a friend, family member, or mentor who will listen without judgment.
3. Seek Professional Help – Therapists, counselors, or addiction specialists can offer tailored strategies for recovery.
4. Join a Support Group – Groups like AA, NA, or SMART Recovery offer shared experiences and accountability.
5. Consider Inpatient or Outpatient Treatment – Structured rehab programs provide medical and emotional support at various levels of care.
6. Remove Triggers from Your Environment – Eliminate substances, avoid toxic people, and change routines that encourage use.
7. Create a Daily Routine – A structured day promotes stability and reduces opportunities for relapse.
8. Practice Self-Compassion – Addiction is an illness, not a moral failure. Be kind to yourself as you heal.
9. Set Short-Term and Long-Term Goals – Recovery is a journey. Break it into manageable steps you can celebrate along the way.
10. Exercise and Move Your Body – Physical activity reduces cravings and improves mood.
11. Stay Hydrated and Eat Nutritiously – Replenish your body with water, vitamins, and healthy meals to aid recovery.
12. Limit Isolation – Don’t go through it alone—connect with safe, encouraging people regularly.
13. Replace the Addiction with a Healthy Outlet – Creative pursuits, nature, journaling, faith, or volunteer work can fill the void.
14. Use Affirmations or Spiritual Anchors – Repeating daily reminders of your worth, purpose, or faith can strengthen resolve.
15. Take It One Day at a Time – Recovery is not linear. Focus on progress, not perfection, and don’t be afraid to start over.

As we read the warning signs and recommendations, we may be left pondering with the question:  Why are individuals drawn to addiction in the first place? Back to AI, and here follows 15 reasons on the why:

REASONS ON WHY INDIVIDUALS BECOME ADDICTED

1. To Escape Pain or Trauma – Unresolved emotional wounds, abuse, or grief can lead people to numb the pain.
2. Chronic Stress or Anxiety – Ongoing pressure, fear, or mental overload may drive individuals to seek relief through substances or behaviors.
3. Depression or Other Mental Health Issues – Addiction can serve as self-medication for untreated mental health struggles.
4. Peer Pressure or Social Influence – The desire to fit in, especially during adolescence or stressful life transitions, can spark addictive habits.
5. Early Exposure to Substances – Starting at a young age increases the likelihood of long-term dependence.
6. Genetic Predisposition – A family history of addiction can increase vulnerability due to inherited traits or learned behaviors.
7. Low Self-Esteem or Shame – Individuals may use substances to feel more confident or to silence their inner critic.
8. Lack of Healthy Coping Skills – Without tools to handle life’s challenges, people may turn to addiction as an unhealthy escape.
9. Physical Pain and Prescription Drugs – Legitimate medical use can evolve into dependency—especially with opioids or other painkillers.
10. Loneliness or Isolation – Feeling disconnected from others can drive individuals toward substances for comfort or false connection.
11. Boredom or Lack of Purpose – Addiction can fill a void when life lacks direction, goals, or meaning.
12. Trauma or PTSD – Individuals with post-traumatic stress often turn to substances to suppress flashbacks, anxiety, or fear.
13. Access and Availability – Easy access to drugs, alcohol, or addictive technology makes it harder to avoid temptation.
14. Desire for Control or Escape – When life feels chaotic or overwhelming, addiction may feel like the only thing within one's control.
15. Reward System Hijack – Substances or behaviors like gambling or social media exploit the brain’s dopamine system, creating powerful cravings and false pleasure.

Remember, these lists are not substitutes for medical or professional advice, but educational warning signs and recommendations for you, family members and friends who may be confronting such catastrophic issues. These are also lists that can help you to define what to do. But as I noted earlier, always seek medical advice first. Talk to a professional.

Here are other resources: The Addiction Recovery Workbook: Powerful Skills for Preventing Relapse Every Day, It's OK That You're Not OK: Meeting Grief and Loss in a Culture That Doesn't Understand and Each Day a New Beginning: Daily Meditations for Women. And for those who have loved ones caught up in addiction, there are: Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself and Beautiful Boy: A Father's Journey Through His Son's Addiction.

Dylan, not his real name, became a statistic that fateful night or morning. And yet he had once lived and breathed like you and me. I like to think that he — like us — had dreams and aspirations, and that he wished to break free of his demons but could not.

I also wish that Dylan still lived here — forevermore.

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I’m Ruth Anita Foote, an award-winning journalist, writer, historian, author, and online entrepreneur— passionate about helping you enhance your business, career, and lifestyle. Whether you need writing, editing, research, or online business development, I’m here to support your growth. My goal is to empower you to elevate your success and make a lasting impact in your field. You can connect to all my social media platforms through Linktr.ee